Tea

Let folly fall from your kettle.

Hastened reproach poured, searing throats.

Boiled water burns and departs forsaken.

For wise words steep in meditation,

Leaving fools to drown in their potency.

The Chrysler New Yorker Society

By: Evan Adent

ALICE- The driver and owner of the car.

BEATRICE-Alice’s Friend

CAROLINE- Beatrice’s Friend

DEBRA-Caroline’s Friend

ELIZA- No one’s Friend

INT. NEW YORKER - AFTERNOON

It’s mid-spring’s day in a quiet suburban neighborhood. No one is outside as all the adults are at work and all the children are in school. The only activity beyond the occasional dog bark is a New Yorker parked across the street from a nice, well taken care of home. In the car are 5 old women, ALICE, BEATRICE, CAROLINE, DEBRA, and ELIZA. They sit in the car staring at the house, with nothing better to do. The closest thing to activity is ELIZA smoking a cigarette deep in thought with the windows barely opened, allowing a small cloud of smoke to collect on the ceiling of the car before escaping outside. The following conversation starts.

BEATRICE: My… Don’t the Thompson’s daisies look lovely this year?

CAROLINE: Osteospermum

BEATRICE: Pardon?

CAROLINE: They aren’t Daisies… they are Osteospermums. They look like daisies, but they aren’t daisies.

ALICE: And this is the Richard’s house. Where are these petunias you speak of?

BEATRICE: Alice, you are looking at the Richard’s house…

ALICE: I know. where are they?

BEATRICE: …I’m talking about the Thompson’s that are to the right of them.

ALICE: Whose right?

BEATRICE: Our right… Who else’s right?

DEBRA: Maybe she meant their right.

ALICE: (turns to DEBRA) oh, have we met? I’m Alice.

DEBRA: Nice to meet you. I’m Mary.

CAROLINE: Debra.

DEBRA: Yes?

CAROLINE: Your name is Debra.

DEBRA: I know it is.

CAROLINE: You told Alice differently.

ALICE: (looks at CAROLINE) I don’t know you.

DEBRA: What did I say?

CAROLINE: You said your name was Mary.

DEBRA: My word… I apologize. Mary is my middle name, I’ve always…

CAROLINE: Jane…

BEATRICE: Who’s Jane?

CAROLINE: …Your mother’s name is Mary, Debra. Your middle name is Jane.

DEBRA: By the way, Caroline... Osteospermum is a type of Daisy.

CAROLINE: How is that “by the way”?

ALICE: I still can’t see these petunias you are talking about, Beatrice…

DEBRA: What do you mean?

CAROLINE: What relevancy is there in that you could accurately say “Your middle name is Jane” is by the way of generic flower types?

BEATRICE: You’re still looking at the Richard’s house…

ALICE: I know!

BEATRICE: Besides, Petunia’s only bloom in the summer.

DEBRA: That’s not true. They bloom from spring until frost.

CAROLINE: Don’t change the subject, Debra…

DEBRA: I didn’t!

CAROLINE: Where do your middle name and Daisies correlate?

DEBRA: (PAUSE) they are both names. We could even say that both topics involve technicalities.

CAROLINE: (PAUSE) Whatever… And how do you know more about flowers than you do your own name?

DEBRA: I know my name!

CAROLINE: Not a moment ago…

DEBRA: And, I got a degree in Horticulture, remember?

CAROLINE: In 1962… from a community college… by correspondence! How am I supposed to believe the legitimacy of that diploma?

DEBRA: You can’t deny knowledge…

BEATRICE: And Alice, we weren’t talking about Petunia’s, we were talking about the Daisies.

ALICE: Didn’t someone say something about Petunia’s?

CAROLINE: You did.

ALICE: I’m serious… I don’t think I know you.

CAROLINE: I’m Caroline.

DEBRA: No you aren’t.

CAROLINE: Yes, I am. You don’t know what you are talking about.

DEBRA: Isn’t your name Dia?

CAROLINE: No! That’s my aunt’s name…

BEATRICE: I knew a Dia once…

CAROLINE: …She passed 17 years ago…

BEATRICE: No, she didn’t…

CAROLINE: …See, Debra, this is what I don’t understand… You learned nearly 60 years ago the scientific name of flowers and what seasons they bloom…

ALICE: That’s actually 50 years…

DEBRA: You said the scientific name.

ALICE: …I can still subtract!

CAROLINE: …but you can’t remember my name or your name for that fact. And we’ve been around each other for the past 5 years! How am I supposed to believe the information you are telling me is true.

DEBRA: You can’t deny knowledge… and you said the scientific name.

CAROLINE: What?

DEBRA: You said the scientific name.

BEATRICE: What time is it?

CAROLINE: what does that have to do with anything?

ALICE: It’s a quarter ‘til 1.

DEBRA: are you talking about me or her?

CAROLINE: You mean Beatrice?

DEBRA: Who’s Beatrice?

CAROLINE: (points to BEATRICE) She is.

BEATRICE: (same time as CAROLINE) I am.

ALICE: Why did you want to know the time?

CAROLINE: Are you going to answer my question?

DEBRA: Who?

CAROLINE: (to DEBRA) You. I was talking to you.

BEATRICE: I need to be at the Thompson’s when the kids get home. Rachel asked me to watch over them until she gets home.

DEBRA: I forgot the question.

ALICE: Oh, I love Rachel. She’s a dear…

CAROLINE: I asked what that has anything to do with anything?

DEBRA: What are you talking about?

ALICE: Doesn’t little Derek look like that one actor?

BEATRICE: What actor?

ALICE: I can’t remember… He was in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”…

CAROLINE: I was asking about why me saying “Osteospermum” means anything?

DEBRA: I don’t care… Are you talking about Robert Redford?

ALICE: No, the other one…

DEBRA: Wasn’t Robert Redford in “A River Runs Through It”? He’s so handsome in that movie…

BEATRICE: No, he directed it. You must be thinking of Brad Pitt.

ALICE: What else was Brad Pitt in?

DEBRA: Brad Pitt wasn’t in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid”.

BEATRICE: I never said that…

CAROLINE: He was in “Legends of the Fall” and “Meet Joe Black”

ALICE: That’s right…

CAROLINE: …Are you talking about the blue one?

ALICE: From “Butch Cassidy”?

CAROLINE: Yeah.

ALICE: No, he was a white man.

CAROLINE: You mean Paul Newman?

ALICE: That’s it!

DEBRA: What about Paul Newman?

CAROLINE: Rachel’s son, Derek, looks like Paul Newman.

DEBRA: Wasn’t he in that movie about cars?

ALICE: Derek or Paul Newman?

BEATRICE: You mean “Cars”?

DEBRA: Yeah, wasn’t he in that?

ALICE: Brad Pitt?

CAROLINE: No, Paul Newman.

BEATRICE: Yeah, he was Doc Hudson.

ALICE: I didn’t see Paul Newman in that... Isn’t that an animated movie about talking cars?

BEATRICE: Yes.

ALICE: How can Paul Newman be Doc Hudson? Doc Hudson is a car and looks nothing like Paul Newman…

DEBRA: He did the voice of the car.

ALICE: Oh… (PAUSE, then burst of excitement) I found the Petunia’s! They are lovely… that’s not the Richard’s house, that’s the MacDonald’s!

CAROLINE: When do the kids come home?

BEATRICE: Two-thirty.

ELIZA: They look loaded.

CAROLINE: They are…

ALICE: Who’s loaded?

CAROLINE: The Thompsons. (PAUSE, looks at ELIZA, then looks away) Did anyone invite her?

(Everyone looks ELIZA as the rest as she remains smoking her cigarette staring outside, everyone turns away muttering how they don’t know her.)

CAROLINE: She’s on to something though, ladies.

DEBRA: Who?

CAROLINE: The smoking one… The Thompsons have some nice things.

DEBRA: I do like her shampoo. She always smells so good.

ALICE: I like her sign in the backyard garden about “Bee-ing” careful with the flowers.

CAROLINE: That broad has my Billy Graham VHS.

BEATRICE: (PAUSE) I got the key.

ALICE: Can you hand me my purse, Beatrice? (BEATRICE hands her the purse and ALICE begins to rummage through it) Do you think the ski masks are necessary for this one?

BEATRICE: No, that’s just for the Webb’s.

CAROLINE: Oh, we should go there, too. I want their TV remote. I lost mine and they have the same TV as me.

DEBRA: Yeah, can we get the Webb’s afterwards? I heard she made the most amazing roast and they never eat their leftovers…

ALICE: After the Thompson’s, we’ll go there. (Everyone starts to unbuckle except ELIZA who is still in the same position.) Alright… let’s pull this sh…(the car door opens before she finishes, cutting to black with no sound)

THE END

A Peeve with Pants

Oh, jeans.

Oh, jeans.

You are snug on my hips

As I attempt to slip in and zip

you up, curses from my lips.

Lighten up.

Loosen up.

No one

Should ever pant

Putting on

A pair of pants.

Wrong Way

Your killing me
Or I'm killing me with you.
Either way, I'm fine with it.
Like electrons colliding creates chaos,
So our world will fall as I fall for you.

It's this feeling inside you're giving me.
Undeserved and underestimated.
A suicidal pleasure
Where I'm gladly killing myself
For the sake of your acceptance.

Twisted Dialogue (aka- The "Good" Friend)

A: I want to die. Right now.

B: Why would you do that? I don't think that's a good idea.

A: I do. I just don't like my life. It's not as euphoric as I imagined it to be. If I can't be happy, what else is left?

B: I don't think anyone's life is that ecstatic. Why else would we live such self-destructive lives? But, I think if you learned to love a little more inclusively, life wouldn't feel so empty.

A: Why can't you just love and support my decision like a real friend?

B: Well, as long as you are comfortable with it... I won't judge.

*A falls*

B: Wait.. you forgot your parasol.

It Came From The Sea With A Vengeance

Characters

THE BOY: A mischievous young man wearing a cowboy costume. The only thing leaving this city with him is his Red Ryder.

THE GIRL: A foolish and enchanted girl caught up by THE BOY's debonair mystery.
_________________________________________

SETTING: Outside of magenta theater and leading to the mural wall.

FADE into a shot of a wedding ring lying on the sidewalk. it's not entirely within the shot, a piece of it is off camera right of the frame. and THE GIRL's feet walk up to the ring. as a hand reaches into the frame to grab the ring, the ring is pulled out of the frame. she follows the ring to it's new location, but then it starts to walk away from her. as she follows it, the camera reveals the hidden bit of the ring that is tied to a string. the camera follows up the string to THE BOY pulling the the string as he walks away from THE GIRL. as the camera doesn't break, it shows the boy walking away with his face camera right, showing both the ring in tow along with the foolish girl, holding a fish in one hand, following closely after the ring.

eventually, they end up in front of the mural near by. THE GIRL finally gets the ring. as she holds it up and starts to put it on, THE BOY pulls the string, flying the ring out of her hand. after a rage of emotion, she slaps THE BOY with the fish. this shot is very 2 dimensional. after slight pouting by both parties, the boy turns around and leaves her, and she soon turns around and leaves, the camera splits into 2 screens as it shows the boy riding a toy tricycle away from the scene with the girl walking the other direction, both hurt and sad, as credits roll.

Welcome to Nostalgia

Here I am
Facing the blue I was once so acquainted with.
Our reunion is well received by both parties
As we laugh and chat of all the things we seen
Since we last talked and sang of silly things.
____________________________________________

I sat on the now cruddy, once clean carpet of my past to reconnect with the view of my previously 5 year old self. The books slumped on the shelf where they once stood erect and ready to be read. One by one, I asked them to tell me the story they've each told a million times.
"Oh, my boy," they each sighed, "You've heard it before."
"I know, but i want you to tell me anyway. For old time's sake..." The look in my eyes was one each story knew well. It was the big blue sky colored eye look I'd get from swinging so high that gravity would have to reach to pull me down.
Besides, the books were never ones to turn down Old Time's pleas, so they sneezed the dust out of their binding and said, "Very well."
And as each of them shared what they were told to tell, the magic of each of their tales seemed as clear as the first time I heard it. From the boy who found life too dull to the raccoon that nearly fell over the waterfall. From the man with the purple house to a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, the euphoric feeling of escaping the ground's grip on me never felt so real with me sitting on a filthy floor flipping through tattered paperbacks and hardcover antiques. It made me wonder what would happen if I found a swing...
The books finished their interview session, with little else to say but who designed their cover and the year they were published. Tears fell down my face ever so slightly for as I listened to their stories, they reminded me of times when I found life too dull and when I nearly fell over the waterfall. It reminded me of when I wanted a purple house and that terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. If only I could have told those 6, 8, 15, and 19 year old boys those stories as they met those stories more personally, I could have told them, "You are not alone. Remember the boy, raccoon, man, and day? They remember you, I assure you." However, knowing those foolish boys, they wouldn't have listened to me. They never really paid much attention to silly things such as wisdom and contentment. It was more important to learn what 2+3 equaled or how to spell "spaghetti".
Regardless, time had stretched back far enough and it started to lose it's elasticity, pulling me faster and faster to my currently dull life, full of waterfalls, purple houses, and terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. The connection fading, I didn't know how else to find the feeling I found in dusty room. I ran to my car, silence the radio that pumped it's "I loathe you" propaganda so I could recite poetry about radishes and upside-down cakes and sing songs about a monkey and a weasel. I also sang about a bunny that lied over the ocean, but it never made much sense to me, but it made more sense than a "bonnie" that lied over the sea. I searched frantically for the color of nostalgia, with it's green ground, green and brown lamps, and blue ceiling. That's when I found it... A swing. I leaped out of my vehicle, neglecting the lines society set for me to sit my vehicle in, not to mention the mandatory "feed me" toll machine that would allow my automobile to sit in the black concrete chair that it currently occupied. But even in my complete presence of mind, I found the blessed chair that I came to see. So...

Here I am
Facing the blue I was once so acquainted with.
Our reunion ss well received by both parties
As we laugh and chat of all the things we seen
Since we last talked and sang of silly things.